he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
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Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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