youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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