She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize