Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
