Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
