i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
