Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
