I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
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