No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
