either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
