R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Randomize
