How'd it feel making her break her religion?
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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