Porn is love you can see.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
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