Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
