Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
