Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
she was so not down for the gang bang
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
