As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
