you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize