I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
so explain again why im purple
no
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
