1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Every concussion has its silver lining
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
