I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Randomize
