He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
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