Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I puked a lego.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Randomize
