You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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