That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
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