idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
