ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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