I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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