Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Randomize
