I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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