Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
