its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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