How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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