WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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