why didn't you poke me back
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
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