this beer tastes like vomit already
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Randomize
