Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
