lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
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Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
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Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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