then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
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