Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
