tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Randomize
