Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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