a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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