Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
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