I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
