help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
