I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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