Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
You ate ashes out of my bong
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
dude. I can hear the air.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
