Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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