Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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