Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
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