She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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