I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
