chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Randomize
