Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Randomize
