tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
