Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
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Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
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You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
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