I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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