My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
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and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
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okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
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