jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
