the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
