Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
